Recently a friend inspired me to begin writing again, oddly enough she does not even know about this blog. It's more of a personal expression of myself free from the hindrances of the judgement from those close to me.
SO what's been going on with me? IN a way I can say: I have been delivered. I can honestly say that I whole-heartedly believe that I am becoming that amazingly and phenomenal women I wasn't sure I could be. And honestly all it took was letting go of the one thing I was trying the hardest to hold on too. Technically, it was pried from my death grip as I tried with everything that I posses to hold on. But even still, coming to terms within myself that it was time to let go was a struggle I had to endure on my own. But letting go is the best thing that I have done for myself in a long time.
Somewhere In my head my teenage girl instincts are telling me I should be sad and depressed....but I couldn't be farther from it. I'm free. I'm weightless. I'm carefree. I'm happy. And happiness has been hopelessly hard to come by.
With my new found independence I've realize maybe it should have been that way all along. That some of us are meant to stand out and stand alone. (Another topic completely). I've been able to take time to get back to the things that really matter to me. My family, my music, my writing, reading, my future. There are so many things I feel I can do now, so many things that I want to do. I feel on top of the world with no one to hold me down.
I even do this funny thing where I sit and day dream about my future husband. How we'll meet, what he'll be like, how he'll propose, and our lives together. It's exhilarating to think that there is someone out there that is going to think that I am the world.
With school starting soon there is a world of possibilities that I can't wait to explore. I want people to see the new me, I want to help other people, and I want to be involved. I can just feel that I have so much more to offer and discover about myself and I just can't wait!!