the action or process of forgiving or being forgiven.
for·give verb \fər-ˈgiv, fȯr-\: to stop feeling anger toward (someone who has done something wrong) : to stop blaming (someone) : to stop feeling anger about (something) : to forgive someone for (something wrong)
Now this may not be well written but it's going to be raw and it is going to be honest. I've always been taught that we should forgive people. If someone breaks something expensive, it was probably an accident. If you hear they said something bad about you it was probably blown out of proportion. If you and a friend have a huge fight, there was probably a misunderstanding. If a family member doesn't call to wish you a happy birthday, they might've gotten busy or forgotten. But what about when it isn't something expensive, or a fight, or a rumor, or something forgotten? What if it is just plain 'ole betrayal? Something that hits your heart deep. Because up until that day you trusted fully and unquestionably. But now that carpet has been ripped from underneath your feet and you're on the floor...hurting. Not knowing how to deal
with the pain caused by someone you care so much about. Isn't that betrayal? Now you are lost and you are conflicted. Because when you truly love and care for someone, one act of betrayal does not change that, it cannot change that. Knowing that can make you feel stupid. How can I feel so strongly about someone who hurt me so much? Seems crazy right? Is it love or naivety? Or is love so naive?
Anyone that thinks that they're helping you may say that those kind of people deserve to be shut out, punished, and they don't deserve your love. But all I can say back to them is, what have I done lately to deserve God's love? Because the answer is nothing. It's not something you earn therefore it is not something you can lose. It is an extension of his grace and mercy. I personally do so many things that are against God's will, so many things in rebellion, things that hurt Him and even reject His love for me. I am far from perfect- - no one is perfect. So God forgives me, over and over and over again. He forgives, accepts be back ,and loves me anyway. That, to me, is truly remarkable! He forgives every type of sin every time we make a mistake. THAT is love.
So a question I ask myself when people question why I forgive is Why not forgive? Because maybe I'm missing the point but what is not forgiving someone else going to do? Does that benefit me? I've tried it believe me. It typically leads to full on resentment. It can cause me to become angry, anxious, or stressed when I know I will have to interact with that person. It puts strain on the other relationships involved and also causes me to obsess over their mistake. And for them? It can also cause stress. They will always have a regret and remorseful spirit when in your presence. It could cause them to shy away and be less of themselves. So far none of these outcomes sound optimal. Grudges consume you, they change you. I know it sounds crazy but forgiving someone can free you from so many things you've been holding on to. It will free your mind of those chains, your heart of that hate and anger, and your spirit will be lifted from that burden.
I know that it is not easy. I know. I'm battling with it everyday. I know that forgiveness won't happen over night. I know that it seems unfair, to forgive someone that hurt you so much. You may think what they've done is unforgivable, but it isn't; I promise. What I know very well, is that it hurts. Depending on what they did to you it could hurt for a really long time. Every time you see them you remember. Every time you hear their voice or their name you think of that betrayal. It hurts that the trust you once had it gone, it makes you never want to trust again. It hurts when you think of how you miss how things used to be. It hurts because it makes you question if they even care about you. It hurts because it makes you question yourself. It may make you feel disgusting or it may make you want to cry or run or scream, it hurts. But in my short years here I've learned that the only way it is going to stop hurting is to start forgiving. God can help, if you let him. You can pray for the strength to forgive as He does; to make the forgiveness can come easier but you may not be able to do it alone.
Whether you believe in or talk to God at all, forgiveness is something you owe yourself. You can not be your entire self if you keep holding on to that burden. You deserve to forgive others so that YOU can be free.
I've decided to get down to heart of the matter but my will gets weak and my heart is so shattered but I think it's about Forgiveness- India Arie